Today we solve, once and for all, one of humanity's greatest mysterys: WHY are the Aliens TEASING US??? Plan for the best, prepare for the worst, people of Earth!

PART THREE OF THE WTiF UFO CHRONICLES. Philip rubs his hands together and plots how to score an interview with one of the aliens who've abducted him. We urge ALL CITIZENS to take one for the team (EARTH!) and get some photos of your travels on a UFO. PLUS: More secrets from behind the scenes of what it's like when you're making a UFO documentary. How to do it, without selling your soul to the Vogons.

DEAR ALIEN ABDUCTEES: Please help us out, take pictures! Also, can we get AIRLINES to pick us up at home, while we're sleeping, too??? It'd be so much more CONVENIENT. And we also have some REQUESTS for ALIENS WHO ARE ABDUCTING PEOPLE: what's a poor SKEPTIC gotta do to get picked up??? 'Cause that would be awesome, ok, thanks.

We watch the skies, and we read the New York Times and we shout OMG! A very special What The IF!